The summer has sadly drawn to a close, and It’s about that time to get back on campus and readmit yourself into the community. Undoubtedly you’ll spend the first week or so, hey maybe even two weeks, seeing old faces and meeting new, and what better to talk about than? You guessed it, how your summer was! So lets make sure you really nail it this semester. Now before we get started, remember this is not for your close compadres, this is for the guy that’s part of your group project, the girls that your other friends insist on hanging out with, and of course for that 45 second stop-N-chat you will have oh so many times at the gym. Peep my swell bro.

The greeting will dictate the rest of the conversation, you both are aware you know each other, but how well is addressed right now:

“What’s up man?”  – Pretty standard, still keeping it guy-at-a-party.

“My man!” now you’ve included the possessive, your boys from here on out. There is a level of commitment here.

“Fuck you dude” – This one is not going to work unless you’re an expert on tone, be ready to put your dukes up.

After you’ve initiated, you will inevitably both admit that you “ Worked a ton” over the summer, and that you “ Can’t believe your already back”, great, we get it. But these must be handled appropriately. Be sure to exaggerate on how much you worked, the more jobs, the better. If your schedule allowed for say 45 hours a week, don’t be afraid to bump that right to 60: Who’s going to doubt a hard working man?

Once you’ve covered the basics, be sure to include that sidenote that lets them know you weren’t ALL work. Tell them about the chick that can’t be verified (make her the cousin of a friend), the older employee from the restaurant you worked at, that you “hooked up with”, be sure to provide no detail except a little hip gesture, the imagination is a powerful tool. Maybe mention you partied a bit, every house party story you tell, add 70 people to the setting, this is key. And remember, everything is alleged, because you were hammered and “don’t quite recall” the whole story. Lead quickly into a return question.

After a quick party story or two has been exchanged, There’s only one direction you have to take this young adult-to-young adult conversation to swiftly transition out of there, “This year is going to be sick” mention how sweet your new digs are and how your roommates are as chill as it gets, and your good for a dap and a dip. I’ll catch you later bro!

Your ready for it children, now Wise Up.

– Sharpe