19-year-old cheerleader, hunter, and total bitch Kendall Jones shot and killed two local residents of Lubbock, Texas around 12:24 pm ET today. The spoiled little whore tweeted that the whole situation was pretty “cray” and that she is currently in hiding somewhere behind her parent’s money.

A bitch and a lion in their natural habitats

It is believed that Jones thought locals swimming in a public pool in Lubbock, Texas were a pack of gazelle grazing at a watering hole in the depths of the Serengeti. She fired two arrows into the crowd, piercing two between the duodenum and jejunum, the so-called “kill spot” according to big-game hunters. The rest of the herd galloped away, but the two shot were later pronounced dead at The Compassionate Care Veterinary Hospital in Austin, Texas.

After the slayings, Jones proceeded to post pictures on Instagram of herself posing with the deceased. One of the pictures, in which she used a Mayflower filter and is seen doing a kissy face in a provocative manner over the corpse, was captioned “240-lb Female Gazelle #hunting #bejelly #mylifebelike”. How one mistakes a considerably overweight lady for a gazelle, I don’t know. It appears she is more out of touch with reality than a schizophrenic Kanye West.


Kendall Jones at her senior prom.. sicko
Kendall Jones at her senior prom.. sicko

World-renown Japanese psychiatrist Dr. Gabe Rosenberg was recently asked about Jones and whether or not she suffers from a mental illness. He wisely stated, “Yeah..she’s a total cunt. Who the fuck kills lions?”

If anyone knows the whereabouts of this bitch call or sext 911. The Humane Society is currently doing their best to keep everyone off the street.