White New balance Sneaker
In honor of Father’s Day I have posted the question that has kept me up 5-10 minutes a night for the past twelve years. No matter how much I think about it I cannot come up with any form of logical reasoning. Why are dads so obsessed with wearing the all white New Balance shoe? This piece of footwear is worn by 67% of dad’s. Take out the young dad, the metro dad and the ‘converse are still hip and relatable’ dad and that number rounds to about 99.99%. This shoe is easily the most bland, average item ever created. If the all white New Balance was a guy his favorite hobby would be watching the Browns game on a 36″ TV, yet it has enthralled an entire demographic. Do dads throw em on and look in the mirror like ‘Damn that’s what I call ankle support, today is going to be a GOOD ass day’? When they see other dad’s rocking the same pair do they give the ‘nod’ walking by? If you have the answer to this please let me know, because as of now I am flabbergasted. (Only 60% sure I know what that word actually means, just felt right coming off the fingers.)

*Dad signs paperwork for new job* – buys New Balance
*Dad creates 401k* – buys New Balance
*Dad saves entire town from alien attack* – buys New Balance