How To Give Something Instant Validity: a Sharpe Callaway post

Have some aspect of your life that’s a little less official then you’d like it to be? No better way to give it that seal of approval than a little top notch BS. Now not all things need the same treatment, we’ll start on a macro scale.

          Business setting  – It all starts with the vocab here. Say you’re running something small out of your room, and a customer calls with a question, or to make an order. They don’t want to believe that you are some nitwit in his friend’s uncle’s basement, they want to know that you have filing cabinets, pens, pencils, staplers, theres a savy girl named Tanya with a strong up-do making appointments for you. The works. I would recommend getting a “hold service” that plays classical music, or show em’ your wild side and play a little light rock, Phil Colins will do.  Example 1.

         Unofficial guy – “ Hold on, let me look in my desk”

        Official business man – “Please hold while I consult the database (cue dated light rock hold-music)”

Now you tell me which of these guys is taking care of business.

        More personal – Remember, no matter how busy you’re not, that is confidential information. Be sure to mention the term ‘work’ as often as possible, vague is encouraged. Who’s the most mysterious man of all time? You guessed it, Bruce Wayne, and that guy was Batman. Do you want to be batman? Of course you do. The man was text-book business. Example 2.

          Curious co-worker: “Hey Bruce, do you want to come over and hang out with me with later?”

         What bruce wayne WOULDN’T say: ” I can’t because there are villains etc.. in Gotham and I’ve kind of taken on a vigilante role in the city”

         What Bruce Wayne WOULD say: “I’d love to, but I’ve got to take care of a couple things first”  <– How cool was that?

Now Wise Up™ and show em’ who’s boss.

-SC

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